under the covers with niki: squirting

{This is our fourth post for our feature, "Under the Covers with Niki." You can read about sex therapy and see the other posts here.}

How many women squirt? How normal is it?

This is a question I get all of the time! And what this person is referring to is “female ejaculate.” There are lots of slang words (i.e. cumming, gushing, she-jaculation, etc.) to describe the release of fluid during sex, commonly at orgasm. People typically think of it as something that only happens in porn. Interestingly, this is something that is much more common then people think. Unfortunately accurate statistics are scarce, but self-reports of 10-68% of women have ejaculated. This number varies for a lot of reasons: a) it is difficult to get accurate statistics about anything involving sexuality, b) there is not universal definition of “female ejaculation” and c) a lot of women are concerned that the ejaculate is urine and prevent themselves from “letting go.”

Unfortunately, like many aspects of female sexuality, this is something that is not completely understood and there are studies that are attempting to identify where the liquid comes from and what it is comprised of. However, research has shown that there is a distinction between urinating and ejaculating. Now, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the ejaculate might contain some traces of urine, as this is a source of controversy in the research. But for women who are too afraid to let themselves attempt to ejaculate for fear of urinating the first thing I would say is RELAX! It is not possible to urinate during sex (unless you have a different condition—email me about it and this could be a different post). Don’t believe me? Well, the next time you have sex try to go to the bathroom immediately afterwards. Notice it takes a few seconds to actually begin urinating (much longer than it typically does).

So, if you feel like you are going to urinate before you orgasm try to follow that feeling, you might ejaculate! If you are super concerned about making a mess then put a towel down or put a plastic mattress cover on your bed. Now that you are prepared to get messy, if you are still hesitant, talk to your partner! Research female ejaculate together and be willing to experiment!

{image via my pinterest}

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