I have a confession to make: I am kind of a crazy bitch. Not in a bitchy type of way (ok, maybe sometimes) but in a if-you-were-my-friend-you-would-find-I-have-way-too-many-idiosyncrasies sort of way.
One of my weird habits is imagining my life in the settings of television shows I watch. And then saying it out loud. I think this comes from the fact that I don't watch any tv shows regularly. I binge watch through netflix or online and become fixated on a certain place or lifestyle and insist that my life would benefit from living that way.
I believe the first time this happened was when I discovered the show Alias. ABC Family was running a marathon my freshman year of high school and I watched it over an entire winter break. And then I became so obsessed, I would cry if I would miss a new episode. I soon decided that I needed to live a life of a spy. I became a bit paranoid (I could always feel someone watching me) and dove back into those survival guides I was so obsessed with as a kid. (I have successfully broken into houses, legally, and also know how to kick down a door, if needed.) It even went so far that my senior year I applied for a CIA scholarship. It never worked out though, which is understandable - the scholarship was for those who were minorities or had a disability. And I really don't fit into those categories unless you count "crazy" as a minority.
The next time this happened was my last semester of college. I graduated a semester early so my senioritis came much earlier than all of my friends. Instead of studying and working on senior type projects, I binge watched three seasons of Weeds. Now, before I tell you the next part, I have to remind you that in the fall of 2008, the economy was awful. It was so awful, our professors were telling us not to graduate or at least to go to grad school or something. So I started to think to myself, Maybe I could just do what Nancy does. I mean no one suspects her because she certainly isn't your "typical drug dealer." I am on our school's Judicial Board for Christ's sake! No one would ever know. And then I could pay off my student loans. But I still told myself I should wait a few months until after I graduated and, if I was still desperate, I could try it out. Besides, I really had no idea where I could even get weed. So when I would go back to school to visit before I had secured a job and people would ask me what I was doing with my life, I would reply, "Well, I am currently unemployed but I am thinking about becoming a drug dealer." And then I would walk away. My friends would walk up behind me and explain that I had recently binged watched a few seasons of Weeds and that I was a crazy bitch.
After graduating in December of 2008 and being plagued with unemployment for about two months, I began to watch past seasons of Big Love while spending all day searching online for jobs. I soon thought that being a polygamist wasn't so bad. I told my then-boyfriend now-husband that I was ok if he got the calling to be a polygamist as long as I was first wife. Because let's face it, Barb certainly got the better deal. We even started referring to my friend Kathy as "second-wife." (Which became even funnier when she slept in our room on our wedding night but that is a whole 'nother story.)
I am not really adding Gossip Girl to this because I don't really know of many people who wouldn't want the life of an Upper Eastsider. I think anyone would like to have an unlimited bank account and invites to the most fabulous parties, even for a few days. Hey, even Dan Humphrey got sucked in.
Anyways, I am thinking about re-signing up for Netflix. I think a binge watch of either The Kennedys or The Fabulous Beekman Boys is in order since I have yet to see either. Which direction do you think my life should take?
Oh and PS: Happy Bastille Day to all my French friends out there! I hope you are having a lovely time with parades, airplanes, and fireworks.