28.10.09

maybe a slimming favorite?

I have a dress that I bought two summers ago to wear to a friends wedding that my boyfriend really likes (and that I do too!)  It is black with a blue and grey flower pattern and actually has a straps (so I can wear a bra!) but it is very form fitting.  VERY form fitting.  I really wanted to wear the dress in Orlando but with the recent weight gain, it was not going to happen.

But should we not be allowed those tiny dresses just because of a little weight gain?  That doesn't seem fair.  Enter Hanes Smooth Illusions Go Figure.  Its bodywear "that makes everything you wear look better" according to the packaging.

Although buying it made me feel like I was 50, I decided to give it a try.  It should come with a warning: will take 10 minutes to get on your body, may need help getting it up.  My boyfriend came in the room because there was so much grunting and moaning to get this tight little thing to move up my body.

And yes it did smooth everything.  While standing the dress looked infinitely better.  Sitting was a different story.  I guess when a dress is tight, it is tight.  So knowing I would be eating a big yummy dinner, I went with a different dress.  (I am also not quite sure how I would have done in the heat with the bodywear.)  But I am definitely keeping this in my drawer for a rainy day.

20.10.09

flights to Orlando - definitely a favorite

I have to wake up bright and early tomorrow for a flight to Orlando. Yay!

Of course I realized TODAY that all my sandals were in a terrible state. And to make matters worse, Salisbury doesn't really have many choices when it comes to shoe shopping so I knew that finding out of season shoes was probably not going to happen. My quick trip to Marshall's, Ross, and Macy's proved this to be true. Oh well, maybe I will find something in Florida.

But I did buy a very interesting undergarment. I will clue you in on how it goes. Oh and get your mind out of the gutter. Think less Victoria Secret and more Bridget Jones Diary.

Have a good night!

19.10.09

not a favorite: ripping out hair

Girls are so silly. We wash. We exfoliate. We shave. We shampoo. We condition. We dry. We suck in. We deodorize. We moisturize. We spritz. And that's just in the morning.

We spend money on dyeing our hair.  And we frequent the "beauty" counters.  We pay someone to push out our pimples.

And quite honestly I think that is all well and good.  Whatever makes you feel fabulous, do it.

This year, I promised myself I would take better care of face and skin.  Less make up, more moisturizer and exfoliant type products.  (Side note - look in a French woman's bathroom.  She hardly has any make up but tons of what I like to call "take care of me" products, like moisturizers, toners, eye creams, etc).

So while pondering how I was going to treat myself before my vacation to Orlando this week, I went back and forth between a bikini wax and a facial.  Considering I can't afford to have a facial every month like you are supposed to, this should have been the obvious choice given my promise to myself.  But the idea of not shaving during bikini clad weather was very exciting as well.  I decided to go with the latter. 

I had never gotten a bikini wax before so I called the spa to find out the differences between all the kinds they offered.  (I decided since someone was going to indeed see my va la la, asking brainless questions over the phone was one of the least embarrassing parts of the experience.)

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi I would like to make an appointment for a [slight pause and decrease in volume] bikini wax.

Day and time are exchanged.

Me:  So what exactly is the difference between the regular bikini wax and the French bikini wax?

Woman on Phone:  A bikini wax is right at the bikini line and the French wax is two fingers in.

Ok two fingers in didn't sound that bad.  I measured it in my head.  The Brazilian question could be held for another day.

Me:  Sign me up for the French bikini.

Sunday, I went in for my appointment.  They took me into a nice room with soothing music and asked me to take off my pants [Insert that's what she said joke] and put on a disposable thong.  I am not really sure why they ask you to wear the thong since you can see everything underneath but I guess that it is just to make the waxee feel more comfortable.

She explained the different types of waxes she would be using and started to make small talk.  Funny enough, it felt quite natural having her tell me how to spread my legs and pour hot liquid on my hoohah while I talked about where I was from.  I guess that means she is good at her job.

The hair removal at the beginning was not that bad.  She just waxed where my semi-tanned skin meets my never-seen-the-light-of-day skin.  I found out she had gone to my high school but graduated ten years before me.  We talked about how she ended up in Salisbury and how I met my boyfriend.

Then she told me she was going to switch to the hard wax for the thicker hair.  She said that most people preferred the hard wax.  All I could think was wow, this is going to get easier?  This is awesome!

Riiiiippppp.  

"Did you like that better?" She asked.  

OH Jesus FUCKKKK! 

"Yea that wasn't too terrible."

This went on for an excruciating forty-five minutes.  And when the lady over the phone said two fingers in she lied.  She really meant only a little tuff of hair would be left which ideally I would have wanted but while laying there getting my vajay jay hair ripped out, I really didn't.  Two fingers in meant I had to fight back tears for forty-five minutes.

I got home and my boyfriend jumped up from his seat.

Him: Let me see it.

Me: No you really don't want to see it.  It is all red and bumpy. And my va la la is not her for your entertainment. [Insert other thats what she said joke].

Him: Come on, let me see.

All he could get out was that noise people make when they pass a really horrible looking car crash.

I spent yesterday afternoon and evening walking around the house with absolutely nothing on down below which was kind of chilly for a day in October.  Luckily, I will be in Orlando soon.  I should have gotten the facial.


14.10.09

following dead bodies: not a favorite

It is a very grey day here.  It seems like it would be a perfect day to follow a dead body on my way out of work.

I have always had a terrible relationship with needles.  My first experience with the painful suckers which I can remember was at the age of five.  I had to get my blood drawn and during the entire process I screamed.  And screamed.  And screamed.  Needless to say, I got many stares on my way out of the doctor's office.

I learned to fight back after that.  In the second grade, I had to get a shot.  I was a very skinny child and if back then you were in the business of fighting children, you probably would have said something to yourself like, "Oh I can take that!"  Well the 250 pound nurse had to sit on me to get the needle in my arm.

By fourth grade, I had learned that one way or another the needle in my arm was going to happen so I should make nice with the nurses.  I passed out one day and had to go to the hospital where they had to take my blood.  I found myself alone in the room with the nurse.

I warned the nurse, "I am afraid of needles.  You will need some back up."  She was a small women.

"Oh Dear, I think I will be okay.  You just need to keep your arm still."

"No, I don't think you understand.  I can't keep my arm still once you start getting the needle ready.  I may even try to swat it away.  Or I may hit you."

"Well I can hold your arm while I do it."

"Tell that to the 250 pound nurse who had to sit on me two years ago."

She promptly left the room and brought back Candy, another small women, but one with a deathly grip.

I really avoid the doctors at all cost, especially when it will involve a needle.  And really, at a certain age, there is no one to tell you to go to the doctors.  But I can tell you that when forced to go, I resort to acting as if I am five.  In college, my boyfriend forced me to go to the flu clinic at the request of my parents.  He had to coax me with ice cream.  My French prof ended up having to hold my hand.  (Yes, my pride goes out the window when needles are present.)

But today I realized how far I have come in adulthood.  Two weeks ago I voluntarily went to the flu clinic at work.  I work in a hospital and although I don't do anything clinical I feel like it is my responsibility to protect those around me who actually do work with patients.  (Okay, okay.  My coworker did hold my hand but I was the one who reminded her about getting the flu shot.)  And today I followed a dead body out of work as he was wheeled away by the funeral director.


12.10.09

a favorite vogue "most wanted"

Every morning I start off with a little piece of Garance DorĂ©.  For some reason her fantastic street style blog puts me in a really good mood.  After reading it regularly over the past couple of months, I am absolutely obsessed.

So I was really excited when Vogue featured her "Most Wanted" pieces.  Check it out on the Vogue website.  

Bonjour Tristesse is on her list, a book I read in college French.  I love Kiehl's products but I have to say I have not tried their hair products.  Maybe they will work on my curly hair?  And that Sophia Coppola bag is beautiful.

11.10.09

a sparkly 80s favorite: diy madonna costume blazer

Since I will be out of town pretty much right before Halloween this year, I knew I had to figure out my costume a little earlier.  I figured I would go 80s AGAIN this year.  I must really be obsessed with the 80s.  Three years ago I was an 80s aerobic instructor and one year in high school I was Madonna.
I decided to do Madonna again which I guess is kind of stupid since I have been her once before but that was many many years ago and I was going to do a very different outfit.  I decided to find a blazer at Goodwill that had huge shoulder pads and that I could decorate similarly to the blazer Madonna is wearing in this picture:

madonna1566641.jpg


I knew I wasn't going to copy the picture exactly (I wanted it to be much crazier and much more sparkly) but this is basically what I was trying to accomplish.  This is what I came up with:

I used glue and glitter to get the sparkly stripes.  I just glued printed satin to the lapels and cuffs and just folded the fabric underneath and glued.  I took off the black button and added a gold 80s looking button.

Here is what else I have to complete my costume:
* black shiny spandex pants
* black lacy corset top
* sparkly fabric to make a bow in my hair
* black suede heeled booties
* gold cross earrings
* black lace gloves
* lots of chains and bracelets

Now I just have to figure out what to do with my hair and what to do for make up...

5.10.09

a new favorite guide to cooking: phoo-d

Yum. MmMmhhh. Oooh! Yes!  I found my Salisbury, Maryland food solution!!!  

Okay, okay.  I know.  Its really not that bad here.  It really isn't.  But I grew up in Baltimore and had my weekend stints visiting my dad right outside of DC.  In other words, I had a lot of great inexpensive restos to choose from and an eclectic amount of grocery stores to oogle at yummy food.  (Oh and that semester in Bordeaux didn't help with the deadening the taste buds either).

Besides the limited amount of restaurants here, I also find that it is sometimes hard to quench my cooking habit.  A lot of the more interesting recipes that I come across have ingredients that are hard to find in this area or there just aren't great places to find high quality ingredients (at least not at a price for a recent college grad). I have learned to be pretty creative but it always helps to have a little extra advice.  

Enter the fabulous blog Phoo-d, a blog about "Food for Anyone with an Address."  It is written by a woman who has moved to a place with "one, two, three good restaurants, one decent grocery store, and of course a Wal-Mart Superstore."

There are fabulous photos that look so yummy I can't wait to get started trying out the recipes.  And we have two super Wal-Marts.  So if she can do it, so can I! Right?